If your marriage is on the rocks, just get back in the driver's seat and wake up your wife's sex drive. Take a leadership role and saving your marriage will be easier than you anticipated.
What you have to do is to change all your negative thoughts into positive ones. If you master your mind, you will master your life and in turn become the master of your relationship. You can change your habits, behaviours, activities, beliefs and ideas and enjoy the passionate rock-solid marriage or relationship you deserve.
To quote Henry Ford said "Whether you think you can or think you can't - either way you're right." Are you a CAN or a CAN'T? Can you change enough to save your marriage? And not only save it but to also grow to be the master of your relationship and fill it with love, romance, happiness with the added benefit - lots of great sex.
The solution to saving your marriage is quite simple really. It all relates to leadership in the marriage. When a woman is being lead by a loving, fun, charismatic leader she will do anything to make him happy. You see instinctively leadership is everything to a woman's sex drive. I know that thought is opposite to what you've been taught. You have been brought up to believe that men and women should be totally equal. In business and society, that is absolutely true. But in your marriage someone has to be the leader and that someone must be you.
Return to the caveman's hunter mode by rebooting your brain. Return to the driver's seat. Reawaken the leader you once were so that your wife's sex drive will sense that you are a great leader and her attraction for you will fly through the roof. She will love and adore you unconditionally and you yourself will grow stronger and sexier than you have ever been.
And why is that you may well ask? Well our sexuality is still very much governed by our Stone Age genetics where a male's sex drive and hunting skills had to be strong enough to ensure the survival of the human species. If you talk in reproductive terms men are simply sperm donors and providers, and women are programmed as the child-bearers and nurturers. Cavemen were leaders, and that is what you need to be as well.
Sex drive is based on both biological, and psychological characteristics. The biological arm includes the brain, the nervous system, hormones and physical well being. Actually the brain is the biggest sex organ of all. Sex drive has its origins in the limbic system and the hypothalamus, which are the most primitive parts of the brain.
The psychological level is related to our feelings and thoughts; lifestyle and the environment; and on the quality of the relationship. It is controlled by the desire centres in the brain which control sexual desire and arousal. These desire centres are controlled by hormones. The male hormone testosterone which affects both males and females, has a particularly important role.. The desire centres send "sex currents" which control sex drive. This "sexual electricity" varies from day to day and from person to person so it is to be expected that everyone has different levels of desire and this will fluctuate from day to day depending on the circumstances. If your physical or emotional well-being are impaired then your sexual interest will possibly be reduced as well.
Because their testosterone level is often 10 to 20 times higher, men are expected to have more sex drive than women. However it does not always work out this way and sometimes couples have differing levels of sex drive. Problems with libido are common with one partner having a higher sex drive than the other. Unfortunately this is a common reason for divorce and when you are working on saving your marriage it is essential to keep this in mind. True love is not always a bed of roses and a perfect match in all areas of life (sexual, emotional, intellectual and spiritually) is only for fairy tales or romantic novels.
Sexual desire means feeling horny or having interest in sexual activity. Sexual arousal means being turned on and physically ready to have sex. The higher your sex drive the easier arousal will be. Sexual desire emanates from love and trust in a close relationship and is a sign of good health and wellbeing. The factors which affect sex drive are:
- Neurological (the brain and nervous system)
- Hormonal (in particular testosterone)
- Personal wellbeing
- Physical wellbeing
- Relationship wellbeing
If any of these factors are affected by any other condition such as sickness or depression, then your desire will wane and you will have less desire. If all factors are in good health, you will think about sex more often and that is the key to saving your marriage. In order to enhance your sex drive it is important to focus on the positives and tune out the negatives about yourself, your partner, your relationship and your sex life. To maintain a happier, healthier sex life it is important to stay fit and healthy, and to work on maintaining a happy and healthy relationship.
Enhancers increase sex drive, inhibitors decrease it. Find out what turns your partner on or off and then maximise enhancers and minimise the inhibitors. The use of enhancers will improve your sex life and that in turn will help you to save your marriage. Do you remember the well known nursery rhyme?
"Sugar and spice and all things nice, That's what little girls are made of. Slugs and snails and puppy dogs' tails, That's what little boys are made of."
Men like porn whereas women crave romance. Typical enhancers for girls include romantic gestures such as flowers, phone calls, intimacy, walks along the beach and holding hands. Classic enhancers for men are things like nudity, pornography, erotica, and variation in lovemaking methods. What takes place in your relationship during the day-time will actually affect the quality of your sex life. Use enhancers to get your libido back in sync with each other. Good loving is the key to great sex and great sex is the key to saving your marriage.
Intimacy is the ultimate merging of mind and body, letting the other into your deepest and darkest secrets. They get to know who you really are. With this comes a high level of trust and if this is broken it will cause severe damage to the relationship. With intimacy comes commitment - a conscious choice to go into an all exclusive relationship. Commitment leads to fulfilment in a relationship. Re-establish trust and commitment as a move to saving your marriage. Intimacy, trust and commitment are a must if you want to save your marriage.
The happiest relationships are experienced when you are good friends as well as lovers. If passion diminishes the relationship still remains strong because of the friendship bonds developed - play, sport, social, fun, romance and other fun past-times you can do together. You can develop intimacy on many levels:
* Emotional *Intellectual *Physical *Family *Recreational *Spiritual *Sexual
All levels are important for a good relationship and the more you do together the more you bond and the more secure your relationship becomes and the more chance you have of having a long and happy marriage.
So in conclusion saving your marriage is easier than you think - the answer is to re-arouse your wife's sex drive by putting yourself back in the driver's seat. Arouse the leader in you and become the master of your relationship to save your marriage. The rest will follow.
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